There are many people we can point to who are great examples of how we can forgive terrible acts of cruelty and move forward without bitterness.
Nelson Mandela, the Dali Lama, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi are four who stand out in just about everyone's mind. There are many others.
We think of these men as great, even special, standing head and shoulders above the rest of us. And herein lies the problem. If we think they are special, we are likely to believe their benevolent acts are beyond us. The truth is, what they did is within our reach to do also.
If they did it, we can do it also. If we put them on a high pedestal, we take away the significance of their actions. What they did is special because they are ordinary--just like the rest of us.
If we hold them in too high esteem, we won't see the possibility of our having the capacity to do the same generous acts.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Dealing With Deep Tragedies
Many people have dealt with tragedies in a courageous manner, choosing to offer forgiveness rather than carry bitterness and anger in their hearts and minds. Phil Cousineau's book Beyond Forgiveness mentions Sauk Chief Keokuk and Jacqueline Kennedy as two examples.
Chief Keokuk forgave those who forced his people on the Trail of Tears and even bid them good-bye in peace, offering to welcome them in his new home should they visit.
Jacqueline Kennedy wrote a letter to Lee Harvey Oswald's widow during the time she was planning the funeral of her deceased husband.
Another fairly recent example that made newspaper headlines was the Amish who forgave the killer of six little girls in their schoolhouse. They visited his widow offering their condolences.
The writer of this section of the book suggests that it is, perhaps, easier to forgive the big trangressions than to forgive the small ones. Certainly there are plenty of people carrying anger over small acts they perceive as hurtful.
Another question we might ask is: "are we responsible for wrongs perpetrated by our ancestors hundreds of years ago?" If we refuse to make amends for those wrongs, are we preventing ourselves, our communities, our country, from moving forward?
Finally, in order to forgive, it helps if we can put ourselves in the shoes of the person who wronged us. Understanding the wrongdoer may be the key to moving forward in the forgiving process.
Lots of questions, not many answers. What are your thoughts? We'd love to hear from you.
Chief Keokuk forgave those who forced his people on the Trail of Tears and even bid them good-bye in peace, offering to welcome them in his new home should they visit.
Jacqueline Kennedy wrote a letter to Lee Harvey Oswald's widow during the time she was planning the funeral of her deceased husband.
Another fairly recent example that made newspaper headlines was the Amish who forgave the killer of six little girls in their schoolhouse. They visited his widow offering their condolences.
The writer of this section of the book suggests that it is, perhaps, easier to forgive the big trangressions than to forgive the small ones. Certainly there are plenty of people carrying anger over small acts they perceive as hurtful.
Another question we might ask is: "are we responsible for wrongs perpetrated by our ancestors hundreds of years ago?" If we refuse to make amends for those wrongs, are we preventing ourselves, our communities, our country, from moving forward?
Finally, in order to forgive, it helps if we can put ourselves in the shoes of the person who wronged us. Understanding the wrongdoer may be the key to moving forward in the forgiving process.
Lots of questions, not many answers. What are your thoughts? We'd love to hear from you.
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