Atonement: Proving You Are Sorry

We had another great discussion which was based on the book: Beyond Forgiveness: Reflections on Atonement edited by Phil Cousineau.

Atonement is not a familiar concept to many of us. However, examples of individuals, communities, and even countries abound in which atonement was used to heal relationships. We can learn from these examples.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa said that if someone steals his pen and uses it for a year and then returns it and begs for forgiveness "...my response is to ask for compensation for the use of my pen, for the ink used and for some indication of contrition/repentance by the offender." 

There are several good examples of atonement in modern books and movies such as Khaled Hosseini's novel The Kite Runner in which the protagonist decides to return to Afghanistan to "make things right again." Movies, in addition to The Kite Runner, that address atonement include Gran Torino; Pickpocket; Mission; Verdict; and Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio.

There are countries that have shown us how powerfully atonement can work. One example is:

• In 2007 the government of Brazil created the Amnesty Commission to seek forgiveness from hundreds of victims of torture during an earlier military rule. As a means of atonement, the government also has offered monetary compensation.  

Restorative justice practices in a number of comunities around the world are leading the way in using atonement to heal injuries and mend relationships. In Restorative Justice offenders must make amends for their wrongdoing instead of serving time in prison.

• For example a Judge in Atlanta sentenced four white-rascists who burned down a black church to rebuild it. Often such requirements leads to the dissolving of anger and hate between the victim and offender. 

When we do someone wrong, it would be helpful to go beyond apologizing by taking concrete action to backup the words of apology.

Atonement speaks to our needing to prove that we are truly sorry for the wrong we have done. It shows that our words "I'm sorry" are not just empty words, but rather are backed up by action.