We had a lively discussion last week discussing atonement and how to grow it in our personal lives. We used information from the website www.beyondforgiveness.org as the basis for our discussion. One important bit of information that came out is that we are all victims and we are all offenders. That this statement holds much truth was made clear in our discussion.
The questions we have to grapple with include how should we react to the pain that others inflict on us. Do we decide to seek revenge, or do we forgive and seek peace? Can we live with those who have hurt us, or do we seek retaliation?
And what do we do when we have hurt others? Do we say, "I'm sorry?" Or do we go beyond just talking? Do we take action to demonstrate that we truly regret our behavior? Do we take action to heal the relationship?
Many personal stories came out in our discussion that demonstrated the strength and the humaness of those present.
Forgiving and asking for forgiveness and going beyond forgiveness to atone for wrongdoing is not easy. We talked about several ways to make us stronger in these areas. One is to refocus on relationships. Pay attention to how we relate to others, what we say, how we act and think. The more we learn about ourselves, the less likely we will need a healing relationship later.
Perhaps you can no longer atone to the person you hurt. You can still do atonement work to heal yourself. Do volunteer work, cook a meal for somene who needs it. Atonement works even if it is not "paid back" to the person who needs it.
In the weeks to come we will be looking much deeper at atonement and the role it can play in our lives.
What is your experience with hurt, forgiveness and atonement? I would appreciate hearing from you.
I have found both of our discussions so far, to be very stimulating & thought provoking. In doing the readings that were suggested before the Book arrived, I found activities I could do right then and there in my personal life, and I did them.
ReplyDeleteDear Chuck,
ReplyDeleteI have worked on... an issue between myself and someone for...14 years --thoughtfully. I found I didn't need his presence to work through how I felt about what I perceived the pain (decades old) to be. I had to work with the woman in the mirror... :)
Over the years, I've been able to release ...layers, and take steps regarding the pain. (is it released or does it fall away when deeper understanding happens? I think the latter.)
Recently I had 2 dreams. Part/more of the conflict was revealed. It was that
Perceptions from each differed...and it was seen so clearly in the second dream and only loving compassion was felt and spoken... the harsh judgement slipped, understanding was present.
i'm glad it came in a dream (although I felt so conscious in watching it)... if I had been awake fully, i don't believe I would have felt the compassion of understanding as I did. It was soft, honest, ...tender...
thank you for your tenderness in helping people, facilitating as you do.
Hi Sharon,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insightful comment. I hope you are getting through the pain of the relationship you wrote about. In our understanding dreams class we learned how powerful dreams can be, especially if we learn what they are telling us. One of the interesting things we learned is that dreams always come in the interest of our health and wholeness, even those scary ones.
Stay well, Chuck